I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
