On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
