i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
