These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
