Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
