I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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