You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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