The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
