If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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