I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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