I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
