I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
