I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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