someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
