do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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