awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
