Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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