Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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