Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
