Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
