If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
