I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
