Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
