okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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