So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
