I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
