I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
