i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize