You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
