You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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