Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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