His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
high people should be assigned attendants
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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