We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
