O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
