So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
