he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
