yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
