Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
