No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
