I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
