Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
