your room smells of hookers.
And success
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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