so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
