wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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