Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
