Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
