its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
