Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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