your thong is hanging out like whoa
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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