Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
