ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
