how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
