Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
tell me about the eggs
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