Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
