I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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