Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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