This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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