i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
