We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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