i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
