so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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