Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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