She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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