went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
